San Juan del Sur is a colorful town and I’m not talking about the buildings, though that is also true. No, I am referring to the people: the colorful and often crazy-ass people.
On Sunday, after a lovely anniversary weekend with my darling husband, I rolled our car into a cement wall and broke the rear windshield. It was certainly unintentional, but entirely my fault just the same. Justin, meanwhile, was waiting for me at Bambu Beach Club with a specially prepared dinner, courtesy of our wonderful chef friend, German Eric. Yes, we call him German Eric, not because there are other Eric’s in town, which there are, but simply because he’s German and thus deserving of the distinction…I guess. There are plenty of other people in this town with similarly obvious and/or wonderful nicknames, including Irish John, Irish Peter, oh and Irish Paul. There’s Yoga Larry, Bitchin’ Bill, the Chicken Lady, T-shirt Kathy, Hot Carl, the list could go on…
But that’s not who I’m talking about either…I am actually addressing the mentally distraught crazy people in this town. Judge me for my lack of political correctness and empathy, but it’s true. As my dear friend Sarah put it, “San Juan imports crazy people, remember.”
Today, not 24 hours after we got our car back from the mechanic with a glistening new rear windshield, someone threw a rock through it and broke it again. Someone out for vengeance? Nope. Someone trying to break in and steal our radio…oh wait…that was stolen last year, so no.
I found out after Justin messaged me “guess who just smashed our rear windshield?” Naturally, I assumed he was joking since we had just repaired the thing yesterday. “Please tell me you are kidding,” I wrote back.” “I am NOT kidding,” he says “Naked Guy.”
So, in typical Facebook-Dependant Style, I posted incredulously…”sooo…just repaired a broken rear windshield yesterday. Had the car for less than 24 hours and today, crazy guy in the street threw a rock at it and broke it. Seriously? Really need to catch a break here…” Those who live outside San Juan or Nicaragua replied quickly with “oh no’s” and “that sucks.” One friend even suggested that I throw a rock back. But those who live within the walls of this colorful little town inquired, “is the crazy stone-thrower back??” and “was it the semi-naked blond or the tall dark one??” In a small town of just 18,000 people, we actually have such an array of certifiable residents that it wasn’t clear to anyone which crazy guy I was talking about. “Always something interesting,” said George.
As Blue added, it “does make you wonder….I think those of us that live here have a line item in our budget ‘Nicadness’ which includes damages by crazy naked people, voodoo doctor requests etc.”
With little faith in a response or action, Justin made his way to the police station to report said crime. In a surprising twist, they told Justin that they were aware of the problem, they’d received more complaints this week, and they were looking for the window smasher. They even said they’d take him to a hospital in MGA to get some help. Then the policeman added, “you should have just beat the shit out of him and thrown him in the estero (estuary). At the very least, as Cesar put it, “These guys need to find a new hobby.”
[* kudos to Julie for the fitting title]
A brief follow up to our bad car karma – while the mechanic was working to repair the second broken windshield, he managed to smash our rearview mirror…